Life Lately

Hi Friends! Its been SO long since I've written a blog post - I'm mean... do people even read blogs?

I won't lie, social media has been really hard lately. I'm so grateful to see my page grow and grow - but with that growth has come with a lot of mean comments. It's been difficult for navigate. I've been open about my struggles with anxiety and depression. And I'm trying to find space for myself to create content and show up, without risking my own personal peace.

It's not even just what people say to me, its also the expectations and pressure I put on myself to be "successful" (whatever that means) on social media. I'm watching my engagement go up and down every day and it just puts so much pressure on me to make sure my numbers are "good".

Something I wasn't prepared for in this world of social media is the rejection. I thought once I hit certain numbers, the brands would just start coming to me. But the truth is, you will pitch yourself over and over again. And 99% of the time its a rejection (or a straight up ghost) from a brand. And honestly, I'm not sure which one is worse.

I fully understand that being an influencer is a privilege. My main focus and career is my corporate job. So anything I can make for my family as an influencer is just a pure blessing. But if I'm being honest, I had it in my mind that I would hit 150K followers and the brands deals would just FLOW in. I thought it was my lotto ticket... BUT IT IS NOT. It's been difficult to not just feel like a failure. That I've worked so hard to achieve these numbers, and it's still not what I thought it was.

It's been a good opportunity for me to reevaluate what I wanted out of this. This was NEVER about money. This was building a community of women. This was about sharing things that I love with other women in a body like mine. But with the mean comments and the low engagement, it makes me wonder if anyone actually cares. If this is making any impact at all.

Good thing no one reads blogs anyways... LOL